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Hollywood’s epic love affair with disaster reaches new highs… and lows

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News Muse ponders over the latest movie gossip, giving you her unique take on all the showbiz shenanigans…

Last week I was devastated to hear that Hugh Jackman has turned down hosting the Oscars next year. This week the producers announced that Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin are doing it together instead! Is this a recipe for disaster?

First of all, notice how it takes not one but two people to fill the void left by Hugh, who in my opinion is right up there with Billy Crystal. Second of all, who ever thought that the words Baldwin and Oscar one day would come up in the same sentence? They actually did already back in 2004, when Alec was nominated for playing gambling boss Shelly Kaplow in The Cooler. But in my defence, he never won it, even though he was actually rather good, but alas, Tim Robbins got the statue that year for Mystic River.

The Oscars gig requires a good dose of humour from its host, so I understand why Steve Martin was picked, apart from the obvious fact that he’s hosted the show before. But the truth is, and so he admitted himself recently, that his career high happened many years ago. The man just isn’t very funny anymore – er, The Pink Panther… need I say more? – which is probably why he’s branching out into music.

Is Alec Baldwin funny? He has become a bit of a sit-com regular, having appeared in Friends, Will & Grace and lately a regular in 30 Rock. But I find him funny in a sinister way (I know you know exactly what I mean), which might not suit Oscar night.

Finally, can Alec Baldwin sing? Didn’t his character Makunga sing in Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa? I can’t remember, it was such a poor sequel. I guess he could always mime. After all, Christopher Plummer managed to get through a whole Oscar-winning musical that way.

From one possible disaster to one certain disaster, Roland Emmerich’s 2012 is out next Friday, 13 November, which is when we will learn how all that money spent on building new train lines and stadiums for the Olympics will be a total waste as the world is apparently set to crash and burn on 12 December 2012. Emmerich brings us yet another mega-budget, apocalyptic mammoth of a movie that is a must see in the same way as a car crash on the motorway.

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Why is Hollywood obsessed with making movies that destroy our planet? And why are so many of us willing to slow down and watch? Isn’t it enough that we have to witness our planet’s slow but certain deterioration in reality? And what’s this repeated obsession with destroying the White House? Watch the trailer above to see a tsunami carrying a giant ship (cos let’s face it, just a tsunami wouldn’t be enough) crash down on Barack & co.

I am disgusted to admit that I look forward to being swept away by this movie on the biggest screen available, in Dolby Surround Sound, please.

Excuse me, does this come in 3-D?


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